Obama Weighs Options In Afghanistan

I love the Onion:

Here are the options currently being considered:

* Not only learn the lessons of Vietnam, but apply them as well
* Visit; act fascinated by their rugs
* Remove every American soldier; see if fighting continues
* Legalize gambling, as that's worked well domestically
* Thunderdome-style battle to the death between Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal and Afghanistan Taliban leader Mullah Omar
* Call the Taliban pretending to be the Prophet Muhammad and tell them to stop ambushing American soldiers
* Announce you're raising troop levels by 15,000, then pull everybody out, then come back with a half million soldiers, in the process convincing al-Qaeda that you're loco and not to be messed with
* Arm and finance a group of religious fighters

That last suggestion is brilliant. Look at how well that worked last time DC did it. Can you say blowback?