The Kagans are Krazy

While real military men are stunned by the Iraqi army's poor performance against the Mahdi militia, my favorite armchair generals see it as yet another glorious victory. This latest rah-rah for Bush's invasion is their most psychedelic pronouncement yet. (Warning: the following sentence may induce vertigo.)

The legitimate Government of Iraq and its legally-constituted security forces launched a security operation against illegal, foreign-backed, insurgent and criminal militias serving leaders who openly call for the defeat and humiliation of the United States and its allies in Iraq and throughout the region.

Ok. Take a deep breath. Remember, this is Freddy and Li'l Kim Kagan.

I warned you, didn't I? In the world of Kagan, the US puppet government in Iraq is the legitimate government, and any group or individual opposed to an alien occupation army is illegal and the tools of foreigners. Meanwhile, in the real world, the Maliki government has almost no authority outside its American fortress. The militias, on the other hand, enjoy the support of the people, who look to them for protection -- otherwise, they couldn't survive.

And these two keyboard commandos realy imagine the Iraqi forces did well? When Maliki vowed to destroy the militias, and ended up backing off, leaving them in place? And why has the US changed its mind about troop withdrawal plans? Finally, let’s not forget that a thousand Iraqi troops refused to fight. Sounds like Vietnam to me.

One Neocon article of faith we see in this bizarre screed is the idea of the US as the legitimate power everywhere it goes. I'm convinced they believe this because they see the US as a universal melting pot. So whenever the US decides to invade a country, it really isn’t an “invasion,” you see, because we’re all the same—anyone from anywhere can be seen in a US uniform, so it’s not like aliens are coming into your country to take over. No matter what country is receiving its well-armed guests, it’s likely some of the troops are from that country. So instead of a home invasion, it’s more like a homecoming.

This married pair selling the Neocon agenda reminds me of husband and wife realtor ads with the cutey-pie motto, "Spouses selling houses." Only with the Kagans, it's "Newlyweds selling bloodshed."